Companion Stories: Jordana
"I put up with a lot of family issues including drug addiction and violence for a number of years and it all culminated two years ago in a physical fight between me and my Mum which ended in hospitalisation. She has always been quite abusive, but when you are a child you have nothing to compare your life and your parents with- you just accept it. I felt I needed to look after her. Even now, after all that has happened, I still feel guilty for not being there for her. She is a victim a lot of violence herself and history repeats itself when it comes to abuse.
I left home and started living out of a suitcase and staying all over the place- wherever I could really. I went to the council, but they couldn’t help me because I wasn’t a priority because I wasn’t suffering from an addiction and wasn’t pregnant and housing associations couldn’t help me either.
I got a job working for a vet and I had accommodation above where I was working, so it seemed as if I had got it sorted for a while, but then things started to go wrong there - the boss put my rent up and I had to work fourteen hour days for £600 a month so I ended up going back to my Mum’s which was the worst thing I could have done. I started going to a homelessness drop-in centre because I realised it was best if I stayed out of the house for as long as I could to avoid conflict. I met a lovely woman from Women’s Aid and when I explained my story she said that what I had had to put up with wasn’t acceptable and she started to help me to find somewhere to live. She came up with Emmaus.
When I first heard it was a Community I had an image in my mind of a commune and hippies, but when I came here I realised it wasn’t like that at all. Emmaus helps you to work together to achieve a happy home environment. There are the occasional disagreements, but compared to what I have come from this is a sanctuary. If there any confrontations here they are diffused quickly. We have a meeting at the beginning of every day and that provides a good opportunity to share your views and get things off your chest. I love the morning meetings. They give us a way of starting the day together with a bit of banter which is the best way to start any day.
I believe that all our voices are heard here and that we all play an important role in the running of the Community. It’s so nice when you suggest something and someone says in reply; “Ok, I’ll consider that”, or “Let me think about that and get back to you” as opposed to “Oh shut up!” It’s so nice to be taken seriously. I really like working in the warehouse - people donate such wonderful things - we have transformed the shop into zones with beautiful things forming the focus of each area. We often do themed display. I find it really creative and satisfying.
I had some counselling when I arrived here because I was very depressed, but within a week I found that I was waking up in the morning with a smile on my face. I was very skinny when I came here because I hadn’t been eating, but I put on a stone in a month and my hair and nails started growing again. Little things like that realise how miserable you have been. Perhaps most important of all, it is such a comfort to know that you can come out of your room at any time of the day or night and there will be someone to talk to. You don’t feel alone here."