Companion Stories: John

Photograph of John

"I have a long history of drug and alcohol abuse. I started when I was about sixteen. It was partly because I got in with the wrong people, and partly the pressure of looking after my father who had cancer.

I missed out on my childhood and teenage years. I had six brothers and a sister so it was a lot for my mum to deal with. My Dad was also a chronic alcoholic so I grew up thinking it's ok to be out of your head.

As the years went on, I got trapped in the constant cycle of addiction, coming clean, relapsing. It's a sort of torture really.

I came to Emmaus in September 2005. Before that I stayed on friend's floors. I was taking loads of crack cocaine. Three years just flipped by and I sat down one day and thought where on earth has that gone? What have you done? There was nothing to look at, nothing to show for it.

In the first week at Emmaus I realised how much support there was. I like the fact that everyone here is working to keep their own home going. It is a joint enterprise.

I have been doing the electrical work here. When I arrived I said I'm no electrician or anything but I know how to wire a plug. I've learnt quite a bit since being here, checking out that things are working and doing PAT testing. If they fail, I see if I can fix them. I came up with the idea of stripping down the appliances that can't be mended and recovering the metal and copper wire. We make money from the salvaged metal and save on landfill.

Emmaus has helped me look at myself. It's given me a purpose, stability and shelter. Before I came here I never quite knew where I was staying for a night, where I could go. It's given me back some sort of control of my life. It's helped me to address my addiction. I've realised that I need to ask for help when I need it. I've built up a trusting relationship with the guys here. They know whether I'm really alright or not.

Sometimes I feel it's quite an honour to be involved in a worldwide movement. When things flourish it's got to be a good thing. It's helped me flourish as well.

I met a couple of old friends recently. When they last saw me, three years ago, I was gaunt and thin from drug abuse. They came up to me and said "how's your brother?" I said "which one?" They said "little John" and I said "that's me." They didn't recognise me."